![]() It’s how you argue that’s the important bit, says Quinn. DisagreementsĪrguments are an inevitable part of any relationship. In order to redress the balance, Quinn suggests really thinking about when it is appropriate to go with the flow, and where clear communication is required to express your needs if you bump heads with your partner on something. “However, sometimes compromise can go too far and overspill into you neglecting important needs and boundaries that you have in order to maintain the status quo.” “Having realistic expectations of your relationship and not needing to have 100 per cent of the same preferences is important as this will allow you to let smaller issues slide, create harmony, and embrace some good old fashioned give and take in your partnership. While learning to compromise is integral to a successful relationship, it’s also important to be aware of what the right degree of compromise is, she adds. But it really is important, says Quinn, and is often a source of contention in relationships that aren’t going so well. #INTIMACY ISSUES HOW TO#It’s the oldest piece of relationship advice in the book: learn how to compromise with your partner. “This should, therefore, be encouraged in order to maintain a level of closeness between partners.” 6. “Sex and physical touch produce oxytocin, the ‘love hormone’, which builds trust and brings a couple closer together,” notes Kuss. ![]() If you and your partner are going through a drought in terms of your physical intimacy, which is common, it can cause other problems in the relationship. “Try going low-fi and turning off technology go for a walk (this often makes having emotionally intimate conversations easier), build a puzzle, or even have brunch together with your phones safely switched off or put on aeroplane mode,” suggests Quinn. #INTIMACY ISSUES TV#In other words, you don’t want to get to a point where the only time you spend with your partner is in front of the TV or when you’re both doing the dishes. “However, when one-on-one time gets squeezed down to near-zero, relationships can start to lack physical and emotional intimacy.” “We all should know by now that we can’t get all our needs met through one person, and that relationships prosper when there’s enough security within them for both parties to enjoy independent activities and friends,” says Quinn. We’re all busy people, so it can be easy to occasionally let a relationship, particularly a long-term one, fall by the wayside when your social calendar becomes a bit too packed. ”Be open and respectful of the other’s feelings and needs.” 4. “Avoid accusation and blame,” she adds, noting that this will only make matters worse. In order to solve communication problems, whether it’s lack of communication or miscommunication, Kuss recommends making dedicated time for talking, practising active listening, and paraphrasing what the other person has said. Not communicating effectively with a partner is one of the most frequent causes of arguments, mostly because of how frustrating it can be when you feel like someone is not listening to you. Don’t try to convince yourself that you want less than you set out looking for, just because you’ve met someone who you like.” 3. Secondly, focus on looking to partner up with people who share the same values as you around commitment. “If they say they’re not looking for anything serious right now, take them at their word. In order to get to a stage where you can define the relationship, Quinn advises listening to what the other person is communicating to you around their stance on commitment. “We suddenly have to have a conversation to verify where we stand.” “One of the biggest problems in modern relationships is when to know if ‘seeing someone’ has become a committed relationship,” says dating coach Hayley Quinn. A new date is quite literally just one swipe away.īut that can make it difficult when you actually enter into a relationship with someone, because it might take longer for both partners to recognise that you are no longer simply casually dating. Thanks to the advent of dating apps, we have more choice with regards to who we want to be in a relationship with than ever before. Acknowledge you may not always agree on everything and be grateful for who they are and their role in your life.” 2. “Hoping to change them is not a realistic strategy and is likely to fail in the long term. “Respect they may be different, like different things and have different opinions and relationship needs,” she suggests. Sometimes for better, sometimes for worse.īut not respecting your partner’s world views, boundaries, interests, and family can lead to serious relationship problems, says chartered psychologist Daria Kuss. It might sound obvious but, as you go through the ebbs and flows of life with another person, you’re bound to face periods of time where the level of respect you have for one another changes. ![]()
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